I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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