there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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