I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
