Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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