i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
even my farts smell like vagina
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
