if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
