so explain again why im purple
no
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
