I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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