I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
