Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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