I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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