ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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