That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
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I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
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But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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