Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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