took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
