So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
