go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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