i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
