the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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