dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
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Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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