i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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