Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
