i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
