There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize