I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
