Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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