Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
