sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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