The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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