smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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