Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
