the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
