I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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