and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
