Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
