I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
