Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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