how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
