Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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