Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
