ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
