is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
