Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
