So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
