his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
