How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
