That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
