Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
