i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
