I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
