Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
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btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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