nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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