Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
