Welp...herpes.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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