just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Couch. On fire.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
