I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
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I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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