apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
