found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
this hospital has no fireball
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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