It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
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You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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