Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
